The Ups-and-Downs of the Early Years (first posted at www.happyhourmom.com)

If you have a child of at least three, you have likely experienced a morning when you greeted a little one, once smiling and serene, who had suddenly become whiny and willful.  You likely checked for fever, or budding teeth, and then after several days of challenging behavior, decided that something had gone terribly wrong with your child or with your parenting.

Thankfully, this was not the case.  Your little one had just moved from a predictable stage of equilibrium to disequilibrium – smooth, steady development, followed by a growth period of unpredictable emotions and high levels of frustration.  This transition happens naturally about every six months from approximately 1 ½ through age nine.

For some children the transition from one stage to another is a mere undulation.  For others it is a full-blown rollercoaster ride.  As a parent, you need to be prepared, tighten your safety belt and remember that those sudden drops, sideways turns, and rapid speeds actually indicate your child is growing, and that is a GOOD thing.

Disequilibrium occurs as babies reach for more.  Crawling moves to toddling and vocabularies grow. Suddenly, not content with a few words, your little one has something big to say and demands to be understood.  No longer satisfied with walking, baby wants to run.  Their lack of expertise leaves them frustrated, and sometimes, down right angry. 

To help you relate, consider disequilibrium in adults.  It occurs in times of change, when we have mastered a particular challenge or task, and are ready to move forward.  Suddenly, the new job, the new class, the new expectation overwhelms us.  In response we might be more intense, more easily frustrated, and generally more unpleasant.  We might want to scream, throw ourselves on the floor, or quit, but (hopefully) we have enough emotional maturity and experience with social norms to resist such behavior.  Your child, on the other hand lacks experience, is emotionally raw, and unfiltered; hence, screaming, tantruming, and quitting.

In response to these behaviors, you can provide the same considerations that might benefit you; understanding, support, guidance, routine, and rest. 

Don’t worry; it gets better from here… at least for six months.

For more information and traits reflected at each age, check-out these books: Your Two-Year-Old; Your Three-Year-Old; Your Four-Year-Old; etc., by Frances Ilg and Louise Bates Ames.