Gift Giving Frenzy and the Forgotten Thank You

How do you prepare/handle a three-year-old for mass gift opening–while teaching them to be thankful. For example, the rip open a bag/gift to find the cutest outfit.  They, however, throw it to the side. In my ideal world they would finish unwrapping the gift and say thank you. 

The problem you cite is common and not just with preschoolers.  Remember, that young children don’t inherently understand the manners we want them to display or the reasons those manners are important. 

Frontloading is critical to your success.  Talk to your three-year-old about how exciting it is to get presents.  Imagine, together what the evening will be like, and share memories from your own childhood about gifts you received that both thrilled and disappointed you.  In the course of your discussion, let your child know what you expect and how pleased grandma or uncle will be to see your child pause and say thank you specifically for their gift.  Role play a bit.  Practice how to say thank you, how to respond to gifts she may not like, and duplicates of things she already owns.  Be silly and have fun. 

On the evening of your holiday gathering remind your child of your expectations.  Sit close to her.  She will probably need to be reminded, in the midst of the excitement, how she needs to respond.  Be prepared to compensate for the stray packages that might get away.  If something or someone is overlooked, let her know it is ok to say thank you once all the gifts are exchanged.  Acknowledge your child’s efforts and share her excitement. 

Remember to maintain age appropriate expectations.  This is a learning curve and your child is young.  It will take more than one gift giving experience to teach her how to behave in concert with your family expectations.

Enjoy every moment, and have a happy holiday.

Monday’s question:  My child hits and kicks me when he doesn’t get his way

Send your questions to carolyn@engagetoday.com