Articulating Your “Because”

If you have already read “Know Your Because,” you may benefit further from some real life examples of how to put it into practice.

When addressing differences with adults consider this:

• Imagine a grandparent’s questioning of your decision to breastfeed.  Explain by calmly stating, “I have decided to breastfeed because my research and my pediatrician feel it is best for the baby.”

 When addressing your child about issues of health, safety, and the law, be firm and unwavering in your tone:

• “You must ride in your car seat because it keeps you safe and it is the law, this is a “no-choice.” Do you want to get in by yourself or do you need me to help you?”

•  “You need to brush your teeth because it keeps them health, this is a no-choice.  Why don’t you get them started and then I will finish them up?”

Some of your “because’s” will have more to do with your specific family value system.  These reasons sometimes require more examination, and often differ from family-to-family.

•  “I know you do not want to go to practice, today, but you need to because in our family it is important that we keep our commitments.”

• “I know that your friends get to go to movies on school nights, but you cannot go because we feel it interferes with your focus, your studies, and your rest, and school is a priority in our family.”

Some of your “because’s” might be based on things that are ultimately insignificant:

•            “You cannot wear the pink shoes to school because they do not match your dress.”

Knowing your because provides a platform for your decision-making.  It provides clarity for you and your child.  It allows you to abandon battles you need not fight and helps you identify and hold firm on issues of the utmost important. 

Stay tuned for posts on “frontloading” and “natural consequences,” where  I will expound on these examples.  We all know that most kids won’t just hear your “because” and roll over without a fight.