Like most children, I loved Halloween in spite of the fact that my mother always made me wear a sweater that ruined my costume and wouldn’t let me carry a pillow-case as a sack like all the cool kids, because she thought it looked greedy. As an adult, Halloween confounds me – costumed children going from house to house and asking for candy from strangers, with the blessing and encouragement of their typically protective parents.
Yes, I know it has cultural meaning, it can connect neighbors and neighborhoods, it is fun, but there are always concerns to be addressed and teachable moments that present themselves, and it is my self-appointed job to address those issues and impose them on you.
I don’t mean to be a buzz-kill, but please, please, please let me state the obvious.
Safety First – health and safety are always non-negotiable.
• All trick-or-treating children need to be supervised by an attentive adult.
• Make sure your kids carry some kind of light or have something on their costumes that glows in the dark. In their excitement, they may dart out onto dark streets, unseen by moving cars.
• Check all treats before turning them over to your kids to make sure they are identifiable, packaged, and appropriate for your child’s age.
• Remind your children that this is a special tradition celebrated with an adult and that taking candy from strangers or approaching the houses of people they don’t know without adult supervision at any other time is not safe.
Frontload – set everyone up for success with clear, enforceable expectations
• To avoid meltdowns, let your kids know the game plan for the evening – where you will be trick-or-treating and with whom, how long you will be out, how far you will go, whether or not candy will be available to eat upon your return and, if so, how much?
• Acknowledge the excitement and how hard it is to wait when your little ones begin to nag about getting ready or leaving the house at 3pm. Provide a firm time-table that you can and will honor. Defer to the clock as the ultimate authority – “when the clock says 5pm we will begin to get ready and then we will leave at 5:30.”
• Tell your kids how to manage crowds – let the trick-or-treaters on a porch depart before they proceed to the door (like good elevator manners). Let the littlest kids go first and stand in front so they can maneuver in their costumes, avoid being run-over, and everyone can be seen. Not fair? Everyone had a chance to be little and stand at the front of the line.
• Acknowledge your children’s efforts to be cooperative and considerate and note their thank-yous – this is a night when self-control and good manners are easily lost.
Anticipate – The best defense is a good offense.
• Your children are likely to be tired on Saturday morning, experiencing a sugar-low and displaying an attitude that reflects both. It will be only moments after they wake that they ask for more candy. Prepare your response and plan your day accordingly.
Enjoy:
I may be confounded as an adult, but I was enchanted as a child – enjoy these enchanting moments with your child. You are making memories and the years go fast – before you know it, your kid, like mine, will be dressed in a questionable costume and attending a party on a college campus.
And, in deference to my mother, don’t let your child carry a pillowcase -she was right it does look greedy, but she wasn’t right about the sweater.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
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